Masturbate Together, Forever

Mutual masturbation, AKA self-pleasuring in front of each other, is quite possibly one of the hottest things that a couple can do together (IMO). Unfortunately though, not may couples actually go there. Which is why you’re reading this, and I’m writing this. I’m here to give you plenty of hot tips on how to enjoy mutual masturbation with your lover regularly, starting today.

#1. Begin enjoying lots of solo self-pleasure.

Let’s be honest, there is no way in hell that you are going to enjoy masturbating in front of (or alongside) a lover if you don’t enjoy doing it by yourself. So masturbating alone is a really great place to begin. Prioritise sex with … YOURSELF. Yes, you. Get to know your body, your turn ons, your pleasure zones … anything and everything that TURNS YOU THE HELL ON.

GO THERE. I mean truly GO THERE. Don’t hold back. Think whatever you want to think. Feel whatever you feel. Do whatever you want to do to feel deep pleasure. It’s important you explore it all by yourself, and really get to know yourself in this way. The reason being, when you take the next step and maz in front of a lover, you will likely feel more confident and comfortable in their presence and eyes on you.

#2. Invite your lover to join you.

Okay so you’ve got this great idea, and read this great article by a fab sexologist (that’s me lol), and now you’re ready to take the plunge and experience it. This is when you can open up the conversation with your lover/partner about your desire to self-pleasure in front of them (while they self-pleasure in front of you). Or alternatively, if one or both of you aren’t ready for that, step one can be that one of you self-pleasures, while the other one simply watches (also VERY hot).

It’s important to note that here’s no right and wrong way to do this, YOU DO YOU. Chat about it (your partner may even want to go away and think about it, which is also okay), and then try it out. Simple as that.

And remember if your lover isn’t ready to take this step, that’s okay too. It’s not for everyone, and guilt-tripping or pressuring someone to do it will not end well.

#3. It’s all about the boundaries, baby!

Remember that when it comes to any type of sex, discussing boundaries beforehand is really important. When it’s specifically about mutual masturbation, I think the biggest one to discuss is whether or not you are both expecting penetrative sex at some stage during the event. You see what can happen (it happens a lot, actually), is that one person gets really horny and ends up wanting to take things to the next level and fuck (and actually has this as an expectation even before starting), but the other person doesn’t. And that’s when things can go south (and not in a good way). Either one partner will just fuck ‘cos they don’t have the confidence to say that wasn’t what they were planning, or they’ll say no and it just turns into a shitty vibe and fizzles out.

This is the reason these things need to be discussed BEFOREHAND (which can make for great foreplay ;)

Are you open to sex/making love at some stage during this/toward the end?

What are your expectations for tonight?

Are you open to me touching your body at any stage if I feel to?

Are you planning on ejaculating?

Do you want plan to experience a peak orgasm at the same time? Or are you happy to just go with the flow and see what happens?

These are some examples of questions worth discussing. Of course, feel free to make up your own and chat about what feels natural and in flow for you as a couple.

#4. Introduce a toy.

Toys are fun! Once you feel comfortable enough touching your own body, then introducing a toy can feel sexy and kinky, and add to the turn on. It can also be fun to surprise your lover with a toy mid-way-through the session … nothing like a little sex toy surprise to spice things up. As always, I recommend The Juliet Pleasure Wand for something truly luxurious and powerful.

#5. If you’re feeling nervous, begin by doing it in the dark.

I understand it can feel terrifying to masturbate in front of someone else, even if they’re your beloved. This can be especially true if it’s your first ever time. This is because masturbation is often our best kept secret, and a truly sacred and private time, so sharing it with another person can feel like a big step.

Firstly, remember it’s okay to say no. It truly is. No means no.

However if you’re curious, and you want to try it, but doing it with the lights on feels overwhelming, then it can be fun (and less intimidating) to do it in the dark.

I personally actually really enjoy doing it in the dark every now and then - it amplifies my sense of sound and smell - creating a different experience that is truly unique and powerful without the visuals.

Okay, that’s enough for today. I feel like you’ve got some simple tips to get you started. Most of all, enjoy! And comment below if you have any personal tips or fun stories for me, I’d love to hear from you!